Driving in Doha

This was posted on a news blog here in Doha and it is so true and so funny.  I included a few pics at the end of some things I have witnessed.  Mostly I am unable to get the phone out fast enough to snap a photo so you will just have to trust me that these are all things seen here daily in traffic.  I highlighted the ones that I think are the most funny, but all of these are true.  

1. Never indicate - it gives away your next move. A real Qatari never uses indicators.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 1 taxi, a bus and sizable lorry, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit. Large trucks must sound horns as they pass through red lights at the speed of an express train.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking should be as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.

6. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary, given only as a guideline. They are especially NOT applicable in Qatar during rush hour. That’s why it’s called ‘rush hour….’

8. Just because you’re in the correct lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that the Qatari driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly.Qatar is the home of the high-speed Land Cruiser driver thanks to the government, placing holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes.

11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green. This prevents Herons from building nests on top of the traffic light and birds from making deposits on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every Qatari driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It’s people not adhering to this basic principle that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.

14. If you cut someone off at a road junction as you turn right regardless of oncoming traffic, it will be O.K if you flash your Hazard lights just before impact takes place.

15. It’s desirable to leave the vehicle delivery note hanging from the rear view mirror for as many years as possible. While this may obstruct a significant portion of your windscreen it will provide a toy for any of your children standing on the console between the front seats.

16. It’s compulsory to drive as fast as possible whilst reading / sending text messages. This allows other drivers to see how skilled you are at multi-tasking

17. Upon purchasing or renting a new car it is mandatory to leave the plastic wrapping on the seats for as long as humanly possible. This not only protects the leather/fabric but it helps to leave both driver and passengers with a healthy level of moisture (aka perspiration) on their backs and lower extremities.

18. The ashtray is not an option. Disposing of lit cigarettes from a moving vehicle is a smart way to keep the ash tray clean inorder to store change and other small, useless items.

19. Child safety seats are “haram.” Small children should be allowed to roam freely about the vehicle, larger kids should stand on center console and stick head out sunroof.

20. In the event of any form of precipitation or other natural hazard (i.e. sand storm, blinding fog, camel in the road) all of the above rules are still applicable - provided you use your hazard lights.

The most common car in Doha by far is the white Toyota Landcruiser with the funky flame striping down the sides.

I have see just about every fancy, expensive luxury car driving down the roads in Doha including, but not limited to, Masarati, Lamborghini, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, all types of Porsche, Mercedes, Range Rovers.  It is a sports car paradise.  Then there are crazies like these two guys below driving something the size of a toy car in the crazy traffic of Doha with helmets attached to the sides (not on their heads)......